Likjabzim is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, two-faced cow.

Likjabzim created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Likjabzim, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Likjabzim, he will turn you into a dog.

Likjabzim's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Likjabzim's Holy Commandments

1. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always help geese in need.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Never feed peanuts to ducks while wearing turquoise shirts.

5. Always take life seriously.