Quagnigvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, contented manatee.

Quagnigvonk created Asia two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagnigvonk, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Quagnigvonk, it will turn you into a rat.

Quagnigvonk's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Quagnigvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never sit in the presence of doves.

4. Run away from magenta birds, for they are unholy.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Quagnigvonk.