Santailfat is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, almighty bear.

Santailfat created Europe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Santailfat, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Santailfat, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Santailfat's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Santailfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

4. Retreat if five snakes approach from the west.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.