Cumcepmut Larntitbed is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, annoying ferret.

Cumcepmut Larntitbed created a charm quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumcepmut Larntitbed, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cumcepmut Larntitbed, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Cumcepmut Larntitbed's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Cumcepmut Larntitbed's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never paint your feet black.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not wear carbon on your body.