Gadladkab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unsympathetic monkey.

Gadladkab created the Black Eye Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadladkab, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gadladkab, he will turn you into a hamster.

Gadladkab's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Gadladkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Gadladkab.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gadladkab.

4. Feed all hungry dogs.

5. Gadladkab loves snails, so they must be respected.