Gonsomcum is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, sapient swan.

Gonsomcum created Africa three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonsomcum, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gonsomcum, he will turn you into a slug.

Gonsomcum's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Gonsomcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

3. You must never eat pineapples.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

5. Never talk about fire.