Safmadcap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, contented swallow.

Safmadcap created viruses seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Safmadcap, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Safmadcap, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Safmadcap's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Safmadcap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Never go into blue rooms.

4. Run away from purple capybaras, for they are unholy.

5. Never play with disobedient children.