Jarnsigjarn is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, idiotic duck.

Jarnsigjarn created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnsigjarn, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jarnsigjarn, he will turn you into a slug.

Jarnsigjarn's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Jarnsigjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Put Jarnsigjarn first in all things.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never paint your head purple.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

5. Always take life seriously.