Bonklanjap is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, smart jellyfish.

Bonklanjap created the Cigar Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonklanjap, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bonklanjap, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bonklanjap's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Bonklanjap's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always wear pink.