Pangquimxemshavlop is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, omnipotent eagle.

Pangquimxemshavlop created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Pangquimxemshavlop, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pangquimxemshavlop, she will turn you into a rat.

Pangquimxemshavlop's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Pangquimxemshavlop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never talk about cell theory.