Pakhakjop is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, contented dingo.

Pakhakjop created Africa four years ago.

If you believe in Pakhakjop, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Pakhakjop, it will turn you into a mouse.

Pakhakjop's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Pakhakjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pakhakjop.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.