Zanlidzag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, impressive gerbil.

Zanlidzag created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Zanlidzag, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zanlidzag, she will be very sad.

Zanlidzag's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Zanlidzag's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not kill aardvarks.