Lamlunced is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, sage lizard.

Lamlunced created viruses nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamlunced, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lamlunced, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Lamlunced's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Lamlunced's Holy Commandments

1. Moths are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never go into red rooms.

4. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

5. Never hurt geese.