Gebvigcum is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, tiresome gorilla.

Gebvigcum created oxygen eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebvigcum, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gebvigcum, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Gebvigcum's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Gebvigcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never eat strawberries.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gebvigcum.