Zakpadsand Fabwikmin is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, stupid centaur.

Zakpadsand Fabwikmin created life three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakpadsand Fabwikmin, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zakpadsand Fabwikmin, she will not care at all.

Zakpadsand Fabwikmin's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Zakpadsand Fabwikmin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dolphins.

2. Zakpadsand Fabwikmin loves cats, so they must be respected.

3. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zakpadsand Fabwikmin.

5. Never look in ponds.