Parkcabfot is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, kind spider.

Parkcabfot created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Parkcabfot, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Parkcabfot, she will destroy your home solar system.

Parkcabfot's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Parkcabfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not kill doves.