Bemdumlin is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, boastful shrew.

Bemdumlin created dark matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemdumlin, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bemdumlin, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bemdumlin's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Bemdumlin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snails.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Never hurt ducks.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not speak about turnips.