Nartrownig is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, contented turtle.

Nartrownig created the planet Earth five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartrownig, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nartrownig, she will not invite you to parties.

Nartrownig's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Nartrownig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Never pour water over plants.