Vegcenfad Hankap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unfair seal.

Vegcenfad Hankap created Mount Everest three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vegcenfad Hankap, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vegcenfad Hankap, she will not care at all.

Vegcenfad Hankap's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Vegcenfad Hankap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.