Nurtbunkik is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, prudent whale.

Nurtbunkik created the Whirlpool Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtbunkik, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nurtbunkik, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Nurtbunkik's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Nurtbunkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick otters.

2. Swans are not to be trusted.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. You must pray to Nurtbunkik six times a day.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.