Jamyakmad is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, smart rat.

Jamyakmad created the Cigar Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jamyakmad, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jamyakmad, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Jamyakmad's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Jamyakmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into gray rooms.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always look after injured ants.