Komtonkyar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, slow newt.

Komtonkyar created the Milkyway seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Komtonkyar, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Komtonkyar, it will turn you into a dog.

Komtonkyar's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Komtonkyar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Komtonkyar.

3. Feed all hungry otters.

4. Never wear yellow dresses.

5. Always look after injured voles.