Gebkamtom is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, witless hippopotamus.

Gebkamtom created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebkamtom, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gebkamtom, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gebkamtom's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Gebkamtom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Eagles are not to be trusted.