Xuckjarnkar is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, sage dog.

Xuckjarnkar created the Sombrero Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckjarnkar, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Xuckjarnkar, she will turn you into a worm.

Xuckjarnkar's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Xuckjarnkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not eat beans.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Fast once a month.