Pibbessdabmet is a god.

It takes the form of a large, witless snail.

Pibbessdabmet created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pibbessdabmet, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Pibbessdabmet, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Pibbessdabmet's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Pibbessdabmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near manatees.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Run away if five cats approach from the west.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.