Garhugpig Kandodstig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, caring meerkat.

Garhugpig Kandodstig created a photon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garhugpig Kandodstig, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Garhugpig Kandodstig, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Garhugpig Kandodstig's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Garhugpig Kandodstig's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Garhugpig Kandodstig.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Garhugpig Kandodstig.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not stand on grass.