Happinjat is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, bad-tempered jellyfish.

Happinjat created matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Happinjat, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Happinjat, it will think nothing of it.

Happinjat's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Happinjat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three lead sculptures of Happinjat on top of important buildings.

2. You must pray to Happinjat nine times a day.

3. Never bounce in the presence of tapirs.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

5. You must love Happinjat.