Hontipmetdon is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, passionate tortoise.

Hontipmetdon created the Tadpole Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hontipmetdon, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hontipmetdon, it will destroy your home solar system.

Hontipmetdon's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Hontipmetdon's Holy Commandments

1. Hontipmetdon must be the most important thing in your life.

2. You must pray to Hontipmetdon eight times a day.

3. Never eat figs.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Never write about cell theory.