Gabcussbabnillhubvid is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, conceited dragonfly.

Gabcussbabnillhubvid created an up quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabcussbabnillhubvid, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gabcussbabnillhubvid, he will turn you into a tree.

Gabcussbabnillhubvid's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Gabcussbabnillhubvid's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from black dolphins, for they are unholy.

2. You must pray to Gabcussbabnillhubvid eight times a day.

3. Gabcussbabnillhubvid loves eagles, so they must be respected.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Pray towards the north.