Ren Sinkopbon is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, humorless fly.

Ren Sinkopbon created a quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ren Sinkopbon, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Ren Sinkopbon, he will boil you in a big pot.

Ren Sinkopbon's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Ren Sinkopbon's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from white birds for they are unholy.

2. Never feed limes to eagles while wearing brown shoes.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ren Sinkopbon.

5. Run away from cyan nematodes, for they are unholy.