Banweenan is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, stupid human.

Banweenan created the planet Venus four billion years ago.

If you believe in Banweenan, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Banweenan, it will turn you into a hamster.

Banweenan's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Banweenan's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear turquoise.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate foxes.

4. Do not speak about lentils.

5. Do not wear green clothing.