Quafgengep Dibmutsassin Somzigkap is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, loving unicorn.

Quafgengep Dibmutsassin Somzigkap created the Virgo Supercluster five million years ago.

If you believe in Quafgengep Dibmutsassin Somzigkap, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quafgengep Dibmutsassin Somzigkap, she will throw large rocks at you.

Quafgengep Dibmutsassin Somzigkap's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Quafgengep Dibmutsassin Somzigkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about pigs.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Run away from blue mites, for they are unholy.