Kinbinzig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, generous wolf.

Kinbinzig created the Sun seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kinbinzig, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kinbinzig, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kinbinzig's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Kinbinzig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from fawn monkeys for they are unholy.

2. Do not kill dolphins.

3. Never eat lemons.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never sing near mice.