Legvonkyok is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, egotistical dryad.

Legvonkyok created Europe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Legvonkyok, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Legvonkyok, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Legvonkyok's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Legvonkyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention sheep.

2. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

3. Put Legvonkyok first in all things.

4. Hide if six mites approach from the west.

5. Do not shave your face.