Babrakbadtalbifwan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, egotistical salamander.

Babrakbadtalbifwan created the planet Saturn eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Babrakbadtalbifwan, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Babrakbadtalbifwan, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Babrakbadtalbifwan's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Babrakbadtalbifwan's Holy Commandments

1. Pigs are not to be trusted.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Feed all hungry snakes.