Figflapwot is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, tiresome butterfly.

Figflapwot created a top quark two years ago.

If you believe in Figflapwot, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Figflapwot, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Figflapwot's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Figflapwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Figflapwot on top of all buildings.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never talk about hamsters.