Hinsterquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, calm hydra.

Hinsterquaf created the Sunflower Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinsterquaf, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hinsterquaf, she will turn you into a snail.

Hinsterquaf's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Hinsterquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not wear platinum on your body.

3. Never wear fawn trousers.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. You must never eat bananas.