Quambigdod is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, annoying mole.

Quambigdod created life two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quambigdod, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Quambigdod, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Quambigdod's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Quambigdod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always obey Quambigdod's priests.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always help hamsters.