Kamxenstan is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, weak monkey.

Kamxenstan created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamxenstan, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kamxenstan, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Kamxenstan's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Kamxenstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moths.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Always obey Kamxenstan's priests.

4. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

5. Put Kamxenstan first in all things.