Vonkwippark is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, staggering narwhal.

Vonkwippark created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkwippark, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vonkwippark, it will turn you into a mouse.

Vonkwippark's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Vonkwippark's Holy Commandments

1. Vonkwippark loves pigs, so they must be respected.

2. Do not hurt gulls.

3. Put Vonkwippark first in all things.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not listen to music.