Jattamtarg is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, weak squirrel.

Jattamtarg created dark energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jattamtarg, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jattamtarg, it will come to you in dreams.

Jattamtarg's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Jattamtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jattamtarg.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Never talk about doves.