Flamwapdag Jatlogwon Metvegpak is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthoughtful chicken.

Flamwapdag Jatlogwon Metvegpak created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamwapdag Jatlogwon Metvegpak, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flamwapdag Jatlogwon Metvegpak, he will turn you into a frog.

Flamwapdag Jatlogwon Metvegpak's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Flamwapdag Jatlogwon Metvegpak's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat carrots.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never sing near mites.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Run away from cyan shrews, for they are unholy.