Cabfaggom is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, two-faced shark.

Cabfaggom created an electron five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabfaggom, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cabfaggom, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Cabfaggom's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Cabfaggom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. You must never eat melons.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Always look after injured gulls.

5. Never paint your chest turquoise.