Jamflabbid is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, narcissistic unicorn.

Jamflabbid created the world three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamflabbid, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jamflabbid, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Jamflabbid's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Jamflabbid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.