Tarpflangad is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, selfish eagle.

Tarpflangad created Europe four million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpflangad, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tarpflangad, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Tarpflangad's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Tarpflangad's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

3. Put Tarpflangad first in all things.

4. Always treat gulls with great respect.

5. You must never eat aubergines.