Zedkipbarn is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, overgenerous owl.

Zedkipbarn created energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zedkipbarn, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zedkipbarn, it will turn you into a worm.

Zedkipbarn's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Zedkipbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always wear violet.

3. You must pray to Zedkipbarn five times a day.

4. Never feed rice to cats while wearing brown shirts.

5. Do not listen to music.