Tailzigyim is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, idiotic hyena.

Tailzigyim created a Higgs boson eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailzigyim, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tailzigyim, she will throw large rocks at you.

Tailzigyim's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Tailzigyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. You must never eat lemons.

3. Do not hurt goats.

4. Erect a large iron sculpture of Tailzigyim on top of all buildings.

5. Run away if six bats approach from the south.