Quillbogyarl is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, witty donkey.

Quillbogyarl created Asia eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillbogyarl, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quillbogyarl, he will torture you forever.

Quillbogyarl's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Quillbogyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Quillbogyarl's name in vain.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Quillbogyarl loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.