Pakmidvab is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unthinking wombat.

Pakmidvab created the world three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pakmidvab, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Pakmidvab, she will strike you with lightening.

Pakmidvab's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Pakmidvab's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always help great tits.