Sugstanfeb Midlenfad is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ill-tempered human.

Sugstanfeb Midlenfad created dark matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Sugstanfeb Midlenfad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sugstanfeb Midlenfad, he will come to you in dreams.

Sugstanfeb Midlenfad's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Sugstanfeb Midlenfad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Worship no other gods but Sugstanfeb Midlenfad.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.